Recently on “hold off, Is it a romantic date?” we’re joined by Autostraddle CEO and
L Term
expert
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. That’s right! This episode is all about lesbian interconnectivity â hooking up with buddies’ exes, pals setting up with the help of our exes, therefore the culture developed by all that drama.
Arrive the news, remain the psychological running. And before that enjoy a casino game that assessments Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking will never.)
Thank you for the good comments after all of our premier! When you haven’t but think about giving us a rating or examine!
SHOW RECORDS
+ 5 years ago Riese assembled an
Old Hollywood data
this is the intersection of my personal interests.
+ Listed Here Is
the essay
We reference in which We mention connecting using my roommates.
+ My crush of few days Mj Rodriguez revealed a songs video clip for her track
“Something to Say”
!
+ As anyone who has only observed a few symptoms of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with the few days C.C. Babcock had been surprising if you ask me with regards to turned-out she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina tells me they essentially nevertheless tend to be.)
Drew:
I would personally end up being extremely great with-it existing. I’d never ever add somebody else without their authorization. But the thought of each and every time some one had been like, “Confirm that you are connected with me personally,” I would be like, “Yeah, it’s the existence i have stayed. Really don’t care about.” Usually odd? Is problematic?
Christina:
No, because if I happened to ben’t, i might feel poor not being. I’d resemble, “Wait, I’m not lying?”
Theme track performs
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I Am Christina.
Drew:
And introducing
Wait, Is This A Date?
Christina:
Wait, Is It A Romantic Date?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the top concerns. First of all, is-it a romantic date? Just what are dates? That are times? Will we like times? These are the sort of questions we address about this right here extremely professional and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I’m Drew Gregory. I’m a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I am Christina Tucker. I am additionally a writer at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer on the internet. I’m getting better at describing myself personally as an author and, famously, a lesbian. That’s united states. That is which our company is.
Drew:
Yeah. And thus the main subject this week may be the Chart.
Christina:
I recently thought it needed a sting. I am not sure. That thought actually remarkable, but i believe it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Many thanks, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The appropriate amount of drama.
Christina:
Thank you so much.
Drew:
Yeah. Therefore we’re dealing with lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
Everyone loves that phrase since it appears like you ought to resume the lesbians. It sounds such as the internet connection actually working.
Drew:
Yes. it is extremely advanced level, really futuristic, but also has existed since there is lesbians, In my opinion.
Christina:
Yeah. I believe scholars would state whenever they discovered 1st lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of these carved to the sand. And I genuinely believe that’s just what that flick concerns, proper? It’s about the data? That movie with Kate Winslet together with sand fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that is what it’s about.
Drew:
I wish
Ammonite
involved cavern ladies. I’d enjoy that lesbian film.
Christina:
Really, as I haven’t viewed it, I’m going to courageously point out that it actually was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve got plenty lesbian period parts, but we’ve never gone back that much. And I think it’s time we would.
Christina:
Let’s simply keep having it furthermore back in time.
Drew:
Before we have to your major subject, you’re however observing all of us. And that I believed it would be enjoyable to try out a game where you dudes could really familiarize yourself with Christina. So all of our icebreaker with this few days is actually a tiny bit game that we name “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
Im, again, so stressed about any of it. This may you need to be how i-come to the game. This might be my personal game mindset, a tiny bit high key, slightly stressed. That is okay. All of us are reading.
Drew:
I believe which is fantastic. I do believe that can prompt you to more vulnerable, perhaps.
Christina:
One of the best thoughts.
Drew:
Just a horror, simply a serious terror. Therefore, the method in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually i’ll explain a scenario. Let’s refer to it as Christina lover fiction. And I’m gonna pause after every little part to get love, “Okay, Christina, i understand that you have never ever lived with a partner, do not want to live with someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And I will both state yes or we’ll state, “i am all set.”
Drew:
If you don’t â really, we’ll see right here. But i am excited. I think i have perhaps cracked the rule.
Christina:
You’ve damaged the rule? I’m thrilled.
Drew:
Let us see how very long this takes. And when you never perform, i believe you win? I am not sure just how discover winners right here.
Christina:
I am not sure that we now have winners from inside the online game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I’m not sure should you’ll agree with that next. And so I’m getting heading.
Christina:
Fair sufficient.
Drew:
Okay. So, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You’re at the pal’s wedding. Inspite of the multitude of romcoms you have taken in, you did perhaps not check-out this wedding ceremony thinking you’d meet any person because, well, this is simply not a romcom. Here is the actual and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking your own assigned chair and are usually glancing at your cellphone whenever you realize a lady at the dining table is wanting at you. She introduces by herself as the friend’s previous baby-sitter. She is stayed a buddy associated with the family members, but she doesn’t actually know any person there. She seems like mid-forties and has now a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She proposes to get you a glass or two. So when she stands up, you realize she actually is six foot large, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. Which means you know what? I’m simply browsing stop there and get similar, at this time, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m captivated. I am intrigued because i may get put at the wedding. But up until now I’m not U-Hauling everywhere.
Drew:
Cool. Which is entirely reasonable. Completely fair. Okay. So you spend entire wedding ceremony learning each other. Absolutely merely a sudden spark and immediate biochemistry. And indeed, you will do hook-up and sex is actually amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And thus this marriage was a student in Northern California. And that means you both expand your stays for a few days to fuck and check out and eat at restaurants and bang. And also you supply to divide the price of the now shared space, but she laughs you off and is similar, “certainly maybe not, honey.” Therefore, the then three days are secret. You are feeling your walls tumbling down. You are dropping faster than you actually ever have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
So just for quality’s sake, I’m having a tough time imagining a global in which we got three shock times off strive to hang out with individuals i actually do maybe not understand. That looks bonkers. But if i did so, advantageous to myself. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this point. It will likely be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. Which is great. You just came across. I get it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thanks a lot much.
Drew:
So she comes back to New York while go back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
This is where I stay.
Drew:
And you are texting continuously. That is where you live plus its in which this woman resides. And you are texting continuously therefore see both several times a month. She is very hectic with her task, but she actually is quick to buy you a train pass in order to come see the girl and stay at her stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. And six months go. And something evening when you’re over to supper, she requires that move in together. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And go on to Nyc? Really don’t really like nyc. No, I am not relocating within half a year level. I’m not doing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Completely, totally, totally. Wow. Okay. Which means you keep matchmaking cross country. She knows that you will need time and she actually is willing to loose time waiting for you. A few more several months move. It’s today already been over a year. Your property owner lets you know that they are selling your place to a developer who is putting in condos, you can not restore it. You ought to find an innovative new destination. Your own now girlfriend lets you know that no stress, but the woman offer nonetheless appears. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this time, i’d U-Haul for a few explanations.
Drew:
Yay! Ok. Please inform us.
Christina:
Largely, in some sort of for which my personal property owner marketed the house to build up it, my personal property owner happens to be my personal closest friend, with the intention that seems like anything has gone wrong within relationship. And that I might want to simply keep Philadelphia in any event. And if I get to move in using my gf over here, that seems great. That’s fine. Entirely okay. But yeah, In my opinion I might require an external force like a mean property manager.
Drew:
That’s so â ok. I did so think you’ll need certainly to need housing receive indeed there, so I’m happy I understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. That’s precisely what must eventually myself 1st.
Drew:
Really, I’m happy to understand what it does take. So in theory, if perhaps you weren’t knocked out, just how much additional time?
Christina:
Truly, which could have gone on for some time. Philly and ny are not also that not even close to each other. I managed to get space over right here. We’re bouncing forward and backward. We’re having good times. I could have leave that roll for a long period until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst person I’m sure.
Drew:
I didn’t realize Shoshana possessed your home. Really, there you choose to go.
Christina:
There we get. Wow, that was exciting.
Drew:
Well, many thanks for playing.
Christina:
I’m stressed, become clear.
Drew:
And that I’m glad that i understand⦠perhaps if you’re previously, anytime anyone’s ever internet dating you and desires one relocate, maybe your girlfriend told Shoshana to offer the house for the sake of your connection.
Christina:
Honestly the quickest way â some one would have to talk to Shoshana and be love, “Just kick the lady
Drew:
I really like that.
Christina:
Yeah, which is actually stunning.
Drew:
Really, I feel like we discovered a large amount in regards to you.
Christina:
Many Thanks. I feel like We discovered a lot about my self, too. Risk of homelessness is truly the point that keeps me personally moving in any circumstance, i suppose. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that’s fantastic.
Christina:
That was actually thrilling. I am equally delighted to move into the primary phase because In my opinion discussing lesbian connection with this guest, with this particular unique visitor, i believe it will be amazing, Drew. How have you been experiencing?
Drew:
I am thus thrilled. This might be a specialized. And also by that, after all an
L Term
specialist, additionally a small amount of a specialized inside topic available.
Christina:
In my opinion a couple of things tends to be genuine, my friend. I think two things tends to be correct without a doubt. Do we wanna present the guest or do we desire our visitor to introduce by themselves?
Drew:
I’d love the guest introducing herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I am going to claim that the visitor could be the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, communicate.
Riese:
Hi, I’m Riese. As well as being weird become the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, it is.
Riese:
I experienced not to state any such thing. I didn’t actually get it done. I did so say things. I experienced to sit right here quietly.
Christina:
And also you happened to be really brave. Along with your faces had been valued.
Riese:
Thank you much.
Christina:
Though this might be obviously an audio method, Needs our audience to find out that Riese was actually producing some great effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There’s numerous ways to be heard. Do you know what What i’m saying is? That is what i say. I will be the President of Autostraddle.com. And I’m also on an undefeated kickball group. And that’s myself. I’ve your pet dog called Carol. And I also have dated individuals.
Christina:
Congrats regarding kickball!
Riese:
Many thanks. I’ve been associated with people.
Christina:
Great. Enjoying that. That is fantastic to carry to the, this here internet dating podcast. That’s excellent.
Riese:
Yeah. I believe that⦠can there be other things?
Drew:
No, I think that’s fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
Whatever you decide and need to discuss.
Riese:
I like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and private pools.
Christina:
In Contrast toâ¦
Riese:
You know when someone goes likeâ¦
Drew:
Its like when you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those are gross, and so I just exhausted them from my personal mind.
Riese:
Yeah. That is certainly all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, we right away thought of you for this topic.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because first, clearly, queer ladies and non-binary folks in lesbian area have been like, I’m not sure, having sexual intercourse with people exactly who people they know have acquired intercourse with since well before
The L Term
was actually ever before a string. But I do feel just like
The L Word
solidified a certain social idea of the data with Alice Pieszecki. And so I decided might have some insight into this topic.
Riese:
Its real. Two of the experts, I would like to say, of
The L Word
had this actual data of these in addition to their friends these were attracting regarding wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, was one among these. She spoke to united states about it, which they had built this. Because obviously, everyone else for the reason that publisher’s place had fucked other people into the blogger â you know, and the prolonged internet of that generation of lesbians in L. A.. And they also saw that and these were like, “Let’s put it into the tv series.” Plus some ones take the chart. Like, one particular which ⦠like, genuine people are from the data as a joke.
Christina:
That is amazing. That’s the manner in which you learn you have made it.
Riese:
Isn’t that sexy?
Christina:
That might be fascinating for me.
Riese:
And when you yourself haven’t observed
The L Term,
first, congrats. Secondly, it will become the centerpiece of a single of one’s head fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got it all over her wall. And in addition it will be the title of an online site that they began labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. While the idea ⦠and it’s really for the pilot, I think. In 1st episode, Alice begins writing about how every person’s connected, because everyone’s connected with this specific person. And I can connect you, like you’re probably a maximum of two levels away from myself. And that had been correct. Like, despite Dana, who had limited experience because she ended up being a closeted golf member, they nonetheless could actually connect her. And that is real world because it’s genuine.
Christina:
That’s tradition. Yeah. That is what culture appears like.
Riese:
Which is tradition. That’s queer tradition right there. And then everybody else helps make their own charts.
Christina:
Yeah. With the intention that would be my personal next concern, was actually have either people made a chart? Because I really don’t consider I have, I am also type of today thinking like, that was this this past year seated at my home for easily don’t create a chart? Like, that was the point of that, really?
Riese:
I do believe I’ve completed it inside my record, in the same way like ⦠Because I like, I’m not sure, organizing details, I guess, as an idea workout.
Christina:
Yeah, In my opinion that’s also precisely why I am surprised that You will findn’t done it. I like the notion of categorizing situations.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I’m not sure precisely why it is very interesting, however it is. Its fascinating as like, wow, all these men and women, they are linked. It really is crazy.
Drew:
Regarding the program, as soon as ourchart.com is actually formulated, they have a real information that individuals will add stuff. And that I feel like something you joked in regards to on
To L and Back,
nowadays individuals say constantly is like, when this existed in a genuine way, no body would place their own names upon it, nobody would feel comfortable getting their own labels onto it.
Riese:
You’d.
Drew:
I would. I would personally be extremely fine with-it existing. I’d never add somebody else without their particular authorization. Nevertheless the concept of like, anytime somebody was actually like, “make sure you happen to be linked to me,” I would be like, “Yeah, it’s the existence I resided. I do not worry about.” Would be that weird? Is that a problem?
Christina:
No, because if I becamen’t, i might feel poor not being ⦠I would personally be like, “hold off, I am not onto it? Like, i’m very sorry, just what?” No, that would in fact send me personally into lighting moral stress about whom I am as you, everything I’m undertaking. Am we interesting? Do folks {like
