So it should be clear that we are doing it because AA has suggested that it is the right thing to do in order to get over our drinking. We are not saying these things in order to elicit sympathy or to use our alcoholism as an excuse for what we did. Similarly it is important that AA gets the credit for what we are doing and not us.
On A Mission To End Addiction!
In the midst of your ninth step, you say to him “I’m so sorry that I stole that money from you and used it for drugs”. A true amend would be giving him $20 back along with the apology. Unfortunately, there are many things that we do in our using that we can not rectify with tangible goods or direct amends. What about the late nights that we kept our parents up worrying? What about the relationships we ruined, the emotional wreckage we created? Sometimes direct amends are not possible, and this is where living amends come into play.
- This path emphasizes humility and the readiness to rectify past mistakes, promoting personal development.
- This is likely to included cases where a personal trust has been betrayed.
- The 164 and More book is sold on this website at the Publisher List Price of $20.00 plus postage.
Comprehending Serenity and Knowing Peace
- Under the guidance of these step promises, we find ourselves equipped to attain inner peace, enhanced well-being, and intentional living.
- The process of living amends not only fosters individual development but also exerts a favorable influence on our immediate circle, aiding in overcoming addiction as we strive to face life successfully.
- Sometimes the injured party is not willing to forgive and forget.
- It’s interesting to note, that when someone does actually harm us, we’ve learned that holding resentments only serves to rob us of our own peace and serenity, so we tend to forgive them sooner rather than later.
As in many harms done, I found that it just wasn’t “I” who had it all twisted up. In opening up some past wrongs and in making those amends, many dear and wonderful people have also received healing, an understanding living amends and answers to stuff they were holding on to for far too long. I hope these ideas will help you to understand, that most amends can be made in a positive way and the results are so much better than we ever could have expected. We must do these things if we hope to experience the promises listed on pages 83/84 in the Big Book (Into Action).
Step Nine: Making Amends
- Good judgment, a careful sense of timing, courage, and prudence—these are the qualities we shall need when we take Step Nine.
- No matter how much we feel the need to make things right, forcing another to meet with us or hear from us is not part of the Steps.
- We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments.
- The eighth step then helps the individual prepare to accomplish step nine.
- Our sponsors can help us explore each of these concepts so that we gain perspective on the nature of our specific amends and stay focused on what we’re supposed to be doing.
There are so many kinds of situations and they all need to be taken into consideration on an individual basis. While making amends can be healing, the outcome is not always predictable. Your actions alone may bring you a sense of peace, whether a person accepts you amends or not. Working through Step 9 allows you to move forward, regardless of how others respond. In these cases, reflect on whether reaching out is to clear your own conscience at the other person’s expense.
- No two cases are exactly the same and the experience of others is most useful in avoid the possibility of misinterpretation and wrong application of these principles.
- New Life House has helped young men stay sober for over 35 years.
- On losers, fear, the Supreme Court, the end of the FDR era, antisystemic times, and words without consequences.
- Guilt for our wrongs can be one of the most deceptive recovery demons to bear because it damages us from the inside, where it happily hides.
- The reason why it is better to make amends earlier rather than later is based on experience and case studies.
Our Eighth Step list was our practical preparation for working Step Nine. As we go into this step we must remember to stay connected to a higher power and have faith that the previous eight steps have prepared us to work the Ninth Step. In many 12-step recovery programs, making amends is an important part of the process.
But beware of others that sell the book marked up 400% or more. For the same money, you could buy 4 books and use 3 as sponsee gifts. Best of The New York Review, plus books, events, and other items of interest. The cliché, avidly promoted by Moscow, is that Russia will be a relative winner in climate change, but a new book argues that the country will find itself in trouble. One is that this may be the only legal proceeding to determine the President’s complicity in the Watergate scandal.
For example, Alcoholic Anonymous (AA)’s ninth step involves making amends to the individuals in your life who were affected by your addiction. The goal of the program is to improve yourself and make strides to be a better person for yourself and your loved ones alike while also remaining sober. The 9th step promises are a transformative journey that lead to emotional and spiritual growth in your life in recovery. Through recovery, you are assured a fresh experience of happiness, peace, and purpose. Advancing through the 9th step amends process cultivates a profound appreciation for serenity and enhances our sense of well-being and security. I’m sure you’ve heard that the steps are written in a specific order for a reason.
However, take care not to use AA jargon (or even worse “psychobabble”). In his new book, the philosopher Charles Taylor looks at modern poetry as a unique record of spiritual experience in a secular age. New Life House has helped young men stay sober for over 35 years. We came from very humble beginnings, and would love to tell you our story of success and recovery.
